If I were to love one woman, am I willing to sacrifice everything..... for her? Am I willing to give up the things I have been working for throughout my whole life..... just to spend more time with her?..... to love her..... to marry her? You live one life throughout and it's hard to just change all that..... all I ever knew is that I'm happy. The most important thing is..... are you happy with your decision? You have to made people believe you. You have to show them what's inside your heart..... but in the end..... you have to do it to because it makes you happy, because if you dont..... that would mean that you're lying to yourself.

The more people who acknowledge your abilites, the more enemies that you have or the more people who would want to benefit by using you. You have to prepare yourself..... physically and mentally. I have always had the idea that LOVE is about two people who filled in each other's weaknesses and emptiness; thus it's best to get a partner with a different pointview and abilites from the other. However, in this reality..... most women uses men to their likings..... and men pretty much just want to have sex. I just hope that somewhere..... somehow..... I would prove my theory correct..... even if it means not having a girlfriend in this lifetime.

Every human being will bound to think negative thought evantually..... and sometimes they will give up. But all that feelngs is not going to produce something useful, yet..... it is better then those who is always optimistic and being happy without thinking of other things. I found many whom I would like as a girlfriend..... but I never made a move...... because I am too afraid of rejection. I am a coward and a pathetic loser. Then again, perhaps, it's better that I don't have any in my life; or is to overcome your fear..... a part of the topic in LOVE?

Relationships..... specially long lasting ones..... should be based on trust mostly. There are however, relationship which is based on common interest, attraction and many more, but this kind of relationship usually wont last. Humans need companionship..... people to joke around with when they are feeling down(humor)..... someone to hold their arms when they feel hopeless(romance)..... someone to stay by their side so that they will feel safe(dependability). Thus..... only when the 3 qualities are met..... a true 'chemistry' shall emerge between the two and that's what we call 'love'.

If there are other things that make the person I love happy, then I should leave things the way they were even if it means knowing that the person does not love me. Of course, I would be happier if that person loved me too, but I will be happier if the person I loved is happy. It's painful to sacrifice for the sake of others, but if it's me..... if all it takes to sacrifice is about me..... I know that I can take it no matter how hard it is. I don't fight for justice. I live according to what my heart says..... that is to do what I want to do.

I understand now that..... it took as much effort to understand LOVE..... just as you understand DEATH. I didn't want to love not because it doesn't do me good, but it is because I am afraid of it. I am afraid of what becomes to me if I love someone in my life. Will I be betrayed in the end? Will I be happy then? So many questions, yet so little time. All I know is that ultimately in one's life, we will all have to understand LOVE. It's part of the human mission and it's inevitable. After all, the root of love and death is one.

People may see it that I have many friends. However, there are times that I feel even more alone when I am around them, more than when I am by myself. The joy of sharing one's happiness as well as sadness to another. The beauty of enjoying one's company and the other's comfort. I may live alone right now since my parents went back to Indonesia and my sisters studying at University. I seek my friend's company to fill up the emptiness I cant gain at home just to pupil my needs. Selfish am I not? I don't want to be a monster who makes use of other people. I am afraid to be hated by many because of my desires. Yet, there is nothing that I can accomplish by being alone. I am fighting to gain back the moment I've taken for granted.... that is the moment when I am acknowleged by those whom I love.

Why do people try? Why do people strive? I finally understand that we are all fighting in this world..... simply to find the reason why we exist. We are not fighting for our rights to live..... but to prove that we actually exist in this world. That's why we tried to leave traces everywhere in this world with our deeds. As long as others recognises you..... it simply shows that you exist. What happens to life after death? This question is the source of energy for us so that we could gain enough courage to face death. It is not easy to face death..... as you need a lot of courage to even get the glimpse idea of it.

Childish Ideals Pale before reality. Though this world may be wicked, life itself is precious! God and Satan, Love and Hate. Each men contains the potential for both. You would exterminate them for their sins? I would fight the gods themselves to save them..... because truly, nobody wants to be hated. We all must love each other for ourselves. If one impure heart gains the power of shadow, the world will be covered in darkness.