Perhaps it's this feeling. It's the feeling that I had..... the belief that I wanted to share with everyone..... the fact that even in this turmoil age there still exist hope for everyone to work together not betraying anyone and focus in one common direction that all of us wanted to achieve. For that, I do not do it because I seek partnership. I do it because..... I wanted to believe that it still exists. Childish and stupid indeed..... am I not?

I knew that by helping them, I risk myself being used by them. I know that by offering my service unconditionally, might even turn those who I helped in the past to be my distant enemy. Yet, I just couldn't bare to leave them be when they ask me for help. Why is this so? Am I not able to realise that I'm naive? Am I not able to realise that most humans are low beings?

All I ask for truly..... is a partner to devote my life to. Someone who is willing to share their happiness and sadness as well as sharing their resources not taking me for granted just as I offered the same service to her. Yet, it seemed like an impossible dream as doubts will always exist. Is it too much to ask for? Is it too difficult to acheive? Is it too hard too accomplish?

Just as people find it difficult to express their feelings sometimes, it is equally as hard to sacrifice your ideals without conflicts for the peace of this world. Everyone has a different way of doing their own part and most of the time, our purpose seems to clash with one another. No one knows the truth, so we fought to determine the winner. However, the winner doesnt mean that he/she holds the TRUE answer. Then again, would it not be nice to find a common interest despite our differences.....? To find the answer which will open a new path where everyone can just work peacefully towards the same goal?

Why is it that there's war? How are we different from one another? Talents, Gender, Appearance, Religion, Residence, Status and association. Are we not created by the same person? Are we not living together in the same place called earth? Most importantly, are we not trying our best to find the truth behind everything that has a deeper meaning to it after research? Then again, we must understand one thing..... that as long as there exist differences, there can NEVER be peace. Yet, not many will sacrifice their ideals to create a better world.

We're all the same, just people who got swept along the same current to aim for the same destination..... to find the true meaning of what their purpose is in this life. I guess some might say that disagreement and misunderstanding acts as the rock boulder that causes the current to split in 2 direction,..... but i always believed..... that if we unite..... there's no boulder that can break us apart.

I..... can't. I have totaly given up hope on all romance. Kisses and Hugs are fun to have. Conforts and having someone to acknowledge you is fun to have. However, it's no longer fun when that person takes you for granted and just come looking for you whenever he/she needs help and doesn't even have the tendency to say thank you after you have helped him/her. Feeling this way, I am scared..... scared to start another relationship. Perhaps, it's better this way.

Death is just a part of life that we need to go through in order to experience the next part of our life. However, the scariest thing is that, we have no idea when that time is coming. Not to mention that we wont be guaranteed to have the preparations to face it. What kind of preparation? Well..... I suppose it's the preparation to leave all of our loved one for the sake of going through the next life.

Priorities changes through time. However, there is something that we must always remember. That in life, we are a friend before we are made enemies, we are siblings before we are friends and we are sons and daughters before we are siblings. Choices in life are never easy to made, but instincts which we followed..... the beliefs which we have..... the calmness that our heart feels when we do something..... these are the clues which helps us finds our answers..... otherwise known as..... the key to finding out the purpose of our existance.

Before you know it, they are gone. The people you love..... dissapears one by one. You wont be able to see them anymore..... talk with them anymore..... hug them..... kiss them anymore. Messages you would like to convey when they're around..... Things you would like them to experience with you when they're around..... Feelings you would like to share when they're around..... you can't do that anymore when they're gone.