I know that by seeking the truth you will eventually come across hopelessness and deprivation. However, someone has to do it. Why me? Maybe its because this is the only way I know to live. I have never been acknowledged as an outstanding human being from the beginning and right now, all I seek is a meaningful death. If I can make something out of this useless me, even a small contribution..... then the pain that I've experienced is just but a small fraction to pay in exchange for a greater future which can be used by everyone to experience the happier state of life where all doubts have already been cleared.